Wednesday, October 5, 2011

'Wedding' S1E3 Quotes: Suppress the Jess, Alcoholic Cat, Soft Like a Towel

Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?

Nick [About Brook]: She used to get drunk and pass out on our porch. It was like having a hot alcoholic cat.
Schmidt: I'd always leave water out for her.

Jimmy the usher: Look it up in a typewriter old man!

Gretchen: I'm gonna tie you down and show you pictures of my river rafting trip. It's a two hour slideshow!

Jess: Nicolas, you have to introduce me!
Nick: Oh yeah, of course, Jess this is Caroline.
Caroline: Hi..
Jess: One more time.. Cara Lee?
Caroline: Caroline.
Jess: Cara Loo? Corlaine.
Nick: Caroline!
Jess: Oh.. kay... Fancy!

Jess [About Nick]: He's so soft. Like a towel.

Schmidt: Sir, what I need you to do is this: I need you to put vodka in a water bottle, ok? And then rendezvous with me in the restroom. Ok? Same page. Same page.

Schmidt: Ruiner!
Jess: Did you just call me a ruiner?

Gretchen: Tonight, I'm gonna get certified on the river Schmidt. 

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