Winston: I got my mojo back, baby! I'm the mojo man!
Jess: I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me.
Jess: He does that sometimes.
Winston [to Nick]: You've named your testicles and they're both named Sharon.
Cece: You told me you had moved on.
Schmidt: Only people who haven't moved on say things like that. I'm a squirrel, you're my nut. Winter's coming I'm gonna store you in my cheek, girl.
Cece: Hi, excuse me, I think that there's been just a little bit of a mistake with the tables...
Anu: Over 30, no advanced degrees, part-time employment. Table 34.
Cece: No, see, actually I'm a professional model. I'm not famous or anything but I was in Lil' Wayne's last video. I was the girl he was throwing strawberries at in slow motion.
Anu: Definitely table 34.
Anu: I'll tell you what's not made out of newspapers. That tight little ass of yours.
Nick: It was a nice kiss.
Jess: You were like a dog and my mouth was like a bowl full of dog milk.
Schmidt: I will "cal-cut-a" bitch.
Jess: He's in such terrible shape. You could have killed him.
Nick: Is there another doctor in the house?
Schmidt: You should see her areolas. One's like a helicopter pad, the other's one's like a tick bite. It's freaky. Very disorienting.
Schmidt: Turban on? Turban off?
Cece: I'm gonna hate myself for saying this but turban on!
Schmidt: Turban on it is!